1 January 2012

Hehe, Happy New Year to myself. I am grateful that I am still alive and can have countdown with seniors. Hehe, finally I can understand and realise that I did not have your concern as well. Hehe, you really treat me as your sister or friend only. You does not have any special on me. I can see that you like her as she can give you confidence and love. So, I can just let you be my passed-by in my life. All things are not real, they are just images that made me put full expectations in it. It's okay and I will carry the pain by myself.

It's the first time I spent the night at pastor's house. Thanks be to God, I can slept well and woke up early. But, I am tired. It is the first time I heard the ridiculous words from Royce. Hmmm, it maybe not the first time. Haha, he always spoke in DIFFERENT way. He said that I am virus that live in his brain and he wants to delete me but he cant. Haha, luckily Stephanie became a new virus and she became his wife too. =.=lll Andy and Jin Jin also make good friends with her. Huhu....

I am really thanks for Royce and Andy. They made Stephanie enjoyed the countdown and first day of 2012. I can see that they like Stephanie very much. Hehe, maybe this is God's will. Thanks be to God, she can accompany Amy later during Sundays. I really can leave the church? I am really do not know about this. Let it be a God's will... They asked me that am I be baptised? I will answer, "Yes, I am." But, you asked me that why I did not go for receiving Communion? I am really cant do this as I prefer the Catholic way. I am so stressful and depressed in this. God, what will You want from me? I don't want to betray you as Judas did. Lord, I know You sent John Constantine as my cousin to heal my hurt and pain. Please help me to relief the pain. I am so tension now. I am really know that I am always not the type that boys like. So, I can be a single for whole life and cure the pain by myself.


Thanks to Zheng Yang's mum. She sent the Kentucky Fried Chicken sets to us. Although I am not eating that, but I can feel the warm and happiness. Oh, Zheng Yang the little boy! I like you so much.... The Sheng Hao and Zi Xian too.... Haha, I really can be a PAKK student soon...=.=


You played the musical instruments and I forced myself successfully to not looking at you. I cant let the hope to be grew in my heart and I am totally let you go. Sorry that I lose in such way. 


Finally, I spoke with her already. At the last day of 2011, let us be friends again.....  You just my friend. I can focus on my world and study at last. Thank you that you made me awake....